Weirdest Places I Have Ever Masturbated

I hope that there are lots of other people out there like me who are horny ALL THE TIME. No, check that. I don’t hope, I know you’re out there. When I’m in the mood, I usually don’t like to have to sit there and wait for hours to take care of myself. I like to get to the point and resolve the feeling ASAP, only so it can return again. Obviously, the feeling comes on in not-so-common places. Over the years, I’ve racked up quite the laundry list of locations that I’ve decided to use to get myself off. Though I was able to do so, I have to admit that some of my choices have been extremely weird, and I’ve compiled a list of some spots that just seem a little…off.

weirdest places masturbatedPort-O-Jon

I’m not totally proud of this one, but there really weren’t too many options for me. It was a summer afternoon on July 4th at Lake Tahoe. If you’ve never been there, the place is packed with people, and there’s absolutely no privacy whatsoever. The feeling came over extremely strong and I REALLY needed to do something about it. I found a row of Port-o-Jons near the parking lot and figured that’d be the best spot to do it. Sure, I had to be quiet and fast, but the job was done…party on.

Airplane Bathroom

I know it’s certainly no Mile High Club, but a 12 hour flight is a long time to be up in the air, and an even longer time to go without masturbating. There’s not a lot of room to stretch your legs, but you get just the right amount of privacy. What’s weirder? I didn’t do it once. I did it twice at an altitude of about 35,000 feet. I can only imagine how good it would be to actually attempt to join the Mile High Club after those two episodes, but I can’t see it being an easy task for either party involved.


When no one else is in the car, what are you supposed to do? I highly recommend only doing this when there aren’t any cars on the road. If you get off like I do, you’re going to have a heck of a time trying to make sure that no one sees you. Of course, you could be the kinkier type and not care if anyone sees you. If that’s the case, I say go for it. You’ll certainly make someone’s day doing it.

The Beach

Do all those hot bodies that are floating around the beaches turn anyone else on? I couldn’t control myself the first day I tried this covered up in beach towel. Hopefully, no one saw my hands fondling around underneath. Either way, the heat of the sun speeds things up a bit, and the sound of the ocean is quite relaxing. Unfortunately, the loud talk of people will certainly make this one a little awkward as they go passing by.

Okay, so I’ve fessed up a few of my weird places that I’ve masturbated. I’d love to hear what you’ve got to say. Doing it in a weird place might feel a little strange at first, but once you get comfortable, you can’t help but wonder what other places would be…interesting.