The 12 Minute Sex Solution: A Realistic Guide to “Married” Sex

Sex…it’s everyone’s dirty little secret. Almost 90% of us will have issues in regards to sex at some point in our lives. Yet, we don’t want to talk about it – especially with our partners. Why? Our culture doesn’t approve.  It has simply sucked all of the fun out of sex. When it’s discussed it either seems sterile or dirty.

It’s time we embrace the fun and the simplicity of when sex works and get over our self-critical ways. The research has shown that sex begets sex. But we all seem to get so caught up in just getting it in and getting it done, that no one is really present or enjoying it. Or we are all so orgasm driven that it becomes all about “performance”. 12 Minute Sex Solution: A Realistic Guide to “Married” Sex, radically shifts how we view sexuality and what defines sex. Orgasms are great; but what happens when we remove orgasm as the goal? We allow ourselves to be more present, have more sex in the midst of our busy daily lives and bring the fun back to our sexual trysts. Whether you are 25 or 75 odds are you need to change how you think about sex. The first step towards that is committing to “getting it on” with our partners, just 4 times out of one week. It is the simplest of sex-periments.

There are 5 tenants of 12 Minute Sex Solution:

  • 10 minutes per day of body to body 4 times over the course of 1 week.
  • Quantity over quality – You heard that right guys.
  • No performing to get to the “Big O”. No more anxiety.
  • Fooling around instead of foreplay. There’s a broader definition of sex. Women will love that it isn’t all about penetration.
  • 2 minute talks. That’s it. No flowery commitments, guttural chanting or technical jargon, just 2 minutes of sex talk 4 days out of 7.

The research shows that “married” sex usually happens a paltry 12-15 times per year for most couples. Polls have consistently shown that 60% of the population is unhappy with their sex lives at any given time. After all, the realities of every day life seem to conspire against us (kids, mortgages, work). There is simply not enough time in the day to devote to thick, clinical volumes diagnosing what’s “wrong” or heavy, esoteric love-making manuals that require lots of new age mumbo-jumbo and journaling/worksheet activities. These options are just not realistic. Most couples just end up feeling beaten up and overwhelmed, reconfirming they will never be as sexually satisfied.

12 Minute Sex Solution, takes these issues to heart. This book makes working on your sex life bite-sized and manageable. The benefits end up seeming almost accidental because the five tenants the book is based on are simple and fun. Moreover, it is delivered in a voice that is fresh, irreverent and conversational.

12 Minute Sex Solution is the self-help sex book for people who hate to read self-help. It’s brief, realistic and fun to read while actually offering a true solution to those who are stuck in a sexual slump. It’s finally a book where both partners feel like they can get the sex they deserve.


 is the resident sexologist at Adam & Eve and also runs a private practice and media consulting business. She has a Doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Her professional affiliations include AASECT, SSSS, and the American Board of Sexologists. She also has a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and completed a postgraduate degree in Marriage, Family and Addictions Recovery Therapy.

© Copyright Dr. Kathleen Van Kirk