Bad Bachelor/Bachelorette Behavior

It’s getting to be that time of year again, not just blushing brides and coordinated tuxes for wedding season but beers being shotgunned and the guest of honor’s face in the crotch of some guy or girl who is paid to be there. When did it become a rite of passage to behave badly (one last time) before getting hitched?

There used to be the thought of sowing one’s oats one last time but geez, most of us are waiting a lot longer to get married anyway. Most of us have practically made oatmeal by the time we put a ring on it.

The poster boy for cheating at a bachelor party a few years ago was Mario Lopez. You know, host of Extra Entertainment News or even better AC Slater from Saved by the Bell. After dating model/hostess Ali Landry for six years (six years!), they annulled their marriage two weeks in because she found out he cheated on her during his bachelor party in Mexico. Seriously, people — look it up on Wikipedia.

And it isn’t just guys getting in on the action. It has become common place for women to  search out strange schlong before their chasteness is given away. This last night of freedom is such a joke. Yes, it can be a fun bonding event among the wedding party. But not one that should have to include keeping secrets about how the bride or groom “accidentally” slept with someone. To me, this is indicative of how fucked up we as a western culture are about sex.  Hell, if you want to have sex with someone else before you get married why not a) tell your future partner or b) maybe this is a sign you don’t really want to be with your partner. And don’t give me it’s just “sex”. I’m sure it is just sex but there is something going in the mind of that person cheating that is looking for a way to act out.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be the first to tote a blown up penis through a casino or enjoy a strip show. I just don’t get where the touching has to happen? I’m sure some people are attracted to the taboo of this final tryst so I can only appeal to all of those of you out there who allows themselves to be “the other person”. Don’t do it. I’m not going to go all Ya-Ya of the Sisterhood on you all but why not stay as an innocent bystander and not become the chick who who gets more than her reputation stained. Now go out and have some good clean fun…order a boob cake and get a simple lap dance for God’s sake.

image is a copyrighted photo of model (s)

 is the resident sexologist at Adam & Eve and also runs a private practice and media consulting business. She has a Doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Her professional affiliations include AASECT, SSSS, and the American Board of Sexologists. She also has a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and completed a postgraduate degree in Marriage, Family and Addictions Recovery Therapy.

© Copyright Dr. Kathleen Van Kirk