Dating and Disabled
While the dating scene for disabled persons is better than it has ever been, thanks to networking and dating sites, it can still be a complex process. After all, where in your dating profile do you even mention your disability? Do you have to talk about your disability on the first date? How is sex going to be the first time with a new partner?
Many of these questions swirl in the heads of single disabled people. There can definitely be more challenges in the single scene than for those who are able bodied.
Many disabled people have found comfort in developing relationships online first. Taking the time to build trust and a relationship in this way can allow you to be more forthright when it comes to your disability. It can also be a good way to really weed people out who are just “tourists” to disability dating sites (those that want to date someone with a disability just for novelty) and for ruling out individuals who might be well-meaning enough but just aren’t really ready to date a disabled person.
Some people obviously feel more comfortable talking about their disability than others. The first date may not be the right time or place. If you are dating an able bodied person for the first time, they may need some adjustment time the first time they see you in person. They may have a million questions about your disability or purposely never bring it up. There seems like a balance is needed between the two. A level of respectfulness of privacy but a healthy interest in who you fully are. It’s just a matter of being open and very forgiving with your new date mate.
I address sex for the first time in another article here on Adam and Eve’s blog. It truly does boil down to being positive and having good communication skills.
Dr. Kat is the resident sexologist at Adam & Eve and also runs a private practice and media consulting business. She has a Doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Her professional affiliations include AASECT, SSSS, and the American Board of Sexologists. She also has a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and completed a postgraduate degree in Marriage, Family and Addictions Recovery Therapy.
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