Dildo 101

Why use a dildo rather than a vibrator? Some people like to feel more in control of sensation, while others feel it is more realistic looking and feeling to a real penis. Regardless, I’ve got some basic guidelines for you that will help you get the most pleasure you can from your dildo play.

  • Get Comfortable. Feeling relaxed when experimenting with your dildo will help you ease into the sensation.
  • Don’t forget the lube. If you want to be able to move the dildo in and out of your vagina or anus, lube is a must. Friction is the enemy of a pleasant dildo experience.
  • Size Matters. Go smaller rather than bigger at first. When it comes to dildos, girth is more important than length. If you have never used a dildo before I recommend a slim dildo, if you like the sensation move up gradually to something bigger. It’s always nice to have several sizes to choose from based on how you are feeling at the time.

dildoTechniques to try:

  • Holding it inside the vagina. To keep the sensation of fullness, hold the dildo inside with your hand at the base. You can even use a harness or your underwear.
  • In and Out. It’s not just a burger joint.  Slide the dildo in and then pull it out. Vary frequency, depth and direction.
  • Work up to a larger dildo. Go slowly and let the vagina adjust to the size. If you experience pain, stop and move down in size. It can be thrilling to push a limit or two just be safe and smart.
  • Try Texture. If you like extra sensation, try a dildo that has bumps or waves.
  • Explore Different Materials. Dildos come in everything from hard or soft plastic, metal, silicone and even glass/acrylic.
  • Suck it Up. Suction dildos are great to adhere to a shower wall or a sliding glass door, especially if you want to titillate a partner on the other side.
  • Watch yourself in a mirror. Notice what sensation turns you on so that you can show a partner later.

 is the resident sexologist at Adam & Eve and also runs a private practice and media consulting business. She has a Doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Her professional affiliations include AASECT, SSSS, and the American Board of Sexologists. She also has a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and completed a postgraduate degree in Marriage, Family and Addictions Recovery Therapy.

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