Dump Your Selfish Lover

I have been hearing more and more complaints from my friends that their lovers, both male and female, are increasingly selfish in bed. “My boyfriend won’t kiss me unless he wants sex and when we have sex, he won’t go down on me and when he finishes, he gets dressed and goes outside to smoke, not caring if I have orgasmed or not.” dump your selfish lover“My girlfriend refuses to give oral anymore and if I am taking too long to cum, she gets tired and makes me finish myself.” The common thread in all the stories is after the courtship was over, the true extent of the selfishness showed its ugly face, and the love making became dreadfully unsatisfying.

The two major things that will destroy relationships are money and sex. If you are unhappy in the bedroom, you might be able to overlook it for a few months, maybe even a year or so. But ultimately, your disappointment will start seeping into other parts of your life, souring your entire relationship. For those of you unmarried, it’s an easy enough fix to end your relationship and move on. For those married, it gets a bit more complicated, but ultimately being miserable and resenting your spouse is not really healthy for anyone. If you have tried working on the problem and nothing has changed, it’s time to leave.

I know this might sound harsh. But, selfish lovers are probably never going to change. Don’t take just my word for it. Psychology Today has a fascinating article about the way the minds of selfish lovers work and the torture that people go through trying to change them.  If this doesn’t help make up your mind, nothing will.

Have you suffered through a selfish lover? We would love to hear your story. Please leave a comment.