So you’re a lady who is interested in exploring the delights of another woman. Maybe you’ve had fantasies for a while, or maybe you’re just sick of men and think that getting together with another woman is the answer. Bi-sexual women sometimes have a difficult time making the transition and finding a way to have a relationship with a woman, since in many lesbian circles, bi-sexuality may be seen as being a “fake” lesbian. If you’re serious about breaking into the gay and lesbian dating scene, here are five tips for your journey.
1. Join a bisexual or lesbian dating site. Many women start their gay dating in the clubs and bars. Unless you are used to going to these types of clubs, you will probably stick out like a sore thumb and just look out of place. You may find that the lesbian regulars at the club may not be as pro-active about approaching you since they’ll assume you are just a “tourist” (straight person in a gay club). Instead, try joining gay social networks and dating sites to meet people. You avoid the issue of being out of place, and you can get to know people in a non-alcohol fuelled environment.
2. Be honest with your prospective partners. Don’t hide the fact that you have been with men before. This doesn’t give you carte blanche to talk about each and every male experience you have taken part in, but don’t lie either. Also let them know that you haven’t been in a relationship with a woman before. Just like in a straight relationship, some women don’t want to have to ‘teach’ a new partner all the ropes, while some live the idea of popping a lesbian-cherry.
3. Don’t change who you are. You don’t have to “butch” up or try and fill any kind of lesbian stereotype. You want another woman to like you for who you are – not some act that you are putting on. Don’t assume that the type of woman you are looking to get into a relationship with will want a certain look. Sometimes ‘femme’ lesbians like other ‘femmes’, sometimes they prefer a more ‘butch’ appearance. Just like how some ladies like their men rough and ready, while others prefer them suited and booted.
4. Don’t expect the relationship to be like those you have with men. You aren’t dating men, so don’t expect the same things. Go into the process with an open mind and a clear idea that you are venturing into new waters, so some things will be quite different. Don’t make the assumption that all those little things you hate about dating guys will disappear as soon as you start pursuing a woman, but also don’t depend on the more positive sides being there.
5. Make friends with other bisexual women. Networking is always a great way to get to know a new environment. Think about when you started a new job – only after you made a few friends did you find out the real ins and outs of the job. Finding bisexual friends will open you up to a whole school of information that you may not have access to before, including the best places to go, which women have reputations and should be avoided, and how to cope with other people who may not approve of your new dating exploration.