How Holding Hands is Good for Your Sex Life

At times it seems the longer some couples are together the less they tend to dote on one another affectionately. You know, things like twisting one another’s hair between their fingers, rubbing their backs during long conversations, resting a hand on a knee during dinner or simply holding hands while walking down the street. holding hands

Many consider that a part of the romantic honeymoon phase of a relationship; that those sorts of warm and cozy behaviors don’t need to be done anymore because the prize has already been won. However, some couples never shake the sweetness of these gestures. It’s either just apart of who they are or they make a real effort to stay connected in this affectionate phase because they know it is good for their relationship. I argue that these behaviors can sometimes be more powerful than sex it self.

On going affection in a relationship can signal emotional connectedness and higher levels of empathy — at least from what I’ve seen in my office. It can also mean more sex. If you are physically touching one another more there’s a better chance you are having regular sex because you are indirectly stimulating one another on a very safe physical level. The bonding hormone, oxytocin also gets released through touch. This is the hormone that helps us identify with one another as partners, and evokes feelings of general yumminess when in one another’s presence. It’s also great for stress relief.

Holding hands in particular can turn into a powerful experience of affection.   According to Chinese medicine you can improve your sex life in a number of ways by utilizing acupressure points in the hand, including help for those with arousal, endurance or pleasure issues. Specifically, you can stimulate the male and female genitals just by pressing, tickling and rubbing the center of the palm of the hand. Now there’s a nice trick to break out under the tablecloth at your next dinner.

So next time you are out and about and you see that old couple holding hands and stroking one another affectionately, give them a little wink because they obviously know a great little secret to better sex.


 is the resident sexologist at Adam & Eve and also runs a private practice and media consulting business. She has a Doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Her professional affiliations include AASECT, SSSS, and the American Board of Sexologists. She also has a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and completed a postgraduate degree in Marriage, Family and Addictions Recovery Therapy.

© Copyright Dr. Kathleen Van Kirk