I know I’m not the only guy out there who’s wanted to just be friends with a girl while getting some on the side. We all have our reasons, but in my case, I was simply too work-focused to try and deal with some high-maintenance woman who wanted to cry into my ear three nights a week. So during one of my last several hook-ups, I came to realize that I was going to have to make it a bit clear that I wasn’t interested in anything serious.
Granted, she was a gorgeous woman and she had nothing but good attributes, but when you’re personally not in a place to keep up with a relationship, you need to make sure you have things agreed upon before you get in too deep with anyone. Here are a couple of ideas to make sure you maintain FWB status.
Make It Clear…Once
Sitting there telling a woman that you’re not interested in a relationship a thousand times over is going to wear on her ego quite a bit. Make sure you let her know before you’ve even hooked up that you’re not looking for anything serious. It doesn’t take much for a woman to get a bit attached, and if she’s a hopeless romantic, she’ll back down before things get hot and heavy. Sure, you might be out of luck with that one, but you will have saved yourself A LOT of trouble in the long run.
Buying a movie ticket or some ice cream for her is very much OK, but if you’re going out to a pricey meal, make sure she fits her end of the bill. Grabbing the tab for a woman is going to say more than you think, even if you’ve already made it clear that the relationship is going to stay platonic outside of the bedroom. If she’s short on cash, then go ahead, but if it starts getting a little bit redundant and she expects you to pay, you may need to put a grinding halt to things.
No “Hanging Out”
The moment you start hanging out with a woman outside of the usual bedroom romp is the moment you convey that you’re interested in something more than friends with benefits. I’ve seen way to many guys get knee deep in s**t that they can’t talk their way out of. Before you know it, you’ll be introduced to her parents as her boyfriend, and trying to figure out where you went wrong. If you want to hang out, do it with friends you aren’t hooking up with. The only time you can hang out with her should be in large groups where she doesn’t try to get you to gaze into her eyes.
No Sleeping Over
Getting comfortable with a woman after sex is fine, but sleepovers should be out of the question. Friends with benefits is about getting some, not cuddling. The moment you start settling into having someone sleep over is the moment you are going to find yourself having that awkward relationship conversation. You’re welcome to have her pass out, especially if she can’t drive, but keep the weekday sleepover festivities out of the picture. Let her relax for an hour at most, then tell her you’ve got to get some sleep.