Office Sex: Should You Try It?
If you had the choice between having sex in your bedroom, or having sex in a place that seems totally unethical and there’s a high risk of getting caught, which one would you choose? That’s what we thought. Fact is that there are some people who look at office sex to be up there with joining the mile high club. Sex on the brain isn’t something that only happens when we’re not at work. Actually, if you only think about sex outside the office, you may be working a little bit too hard. Our hormones can rage at the slightest trigger, and it’s no fun to have to wait till we get home to take care of the issue. So in order to establish whether or not you should try office sex, you’ve got to work through several strategies that will give you just the right opportunity to do so, without putting too much at risk.
Find the Right Partner
Before you even think of having office sex, you want to make sure that you’ve got a partner that’s willing to try it. Clearly, that partner will need to be a co-worker, as occupying an office or conference room with closed doors and blinds is going to seem a little bit shady if you bring in an outside person to enjoy this opportunity with. Without getting sexually harassing, use small pickup lines and watch for the eye from a co-worker to help you establish who is even interested in you in the first place. Build up a little bit of a connection, both professional and personal. Then start exploring their thoughts a little bit. Want to make it kinkier? If there’s a true sexual connection between you two, make the office your first go at it.
Establish Your Role
If you’re fresh to the office that you’re working at, office sex is simply out. Remember, that while you may not be being “watched” by your peers, there’s always the chance that you could easily get canned if you got caught doing the nasty on your desk. Build up a little bit of credibility and a sense of professionalism. At all costs, you’ll want to keep your office sex between you and your partner. The last thing you need is gossip. The more people can’t imagine you doing such an amazing thing, the better. Save yourself from the grizzly snatches of your HR Department and wait a little bit to go at it next to your computer monitor.
Get an Office
Conference rooms aren’t always the best spot to go for it. Even if your office has an intricate booking system and you’ve got your appointment down as “team building”, there’s the good chance that you’ll get caught by someone, and while you might have it in with everyone there, remember that EVERYONE talks, and nothing is sacred, no matter how sexy it is. Get yourself an office, or borrow one from someone that you have more trust in than your best friend. If you didn’t already guess, you’ll want to go for one with blinds.
The best part about office sex is that you dream about it. The right opportunity isn’t just going to come up on you. Take your time and plot things out. You’ll be rocking file cabinets when the time is right.
Trust us. 😉