Planning the Perfect Threesome

Our researchers at Adam and Eve have put our heads together, and interviewed a few couples who have successfully – and some not so successfully – engaged in their very first threesome. One thing for the readers to keep in mind is that these guidelines above relate to threesomes for sexual gratification. planning a threesomeIf you are looking to have a triad, or relationship between three people, on a long term basis, the advice is much different. If you’re just looking for a sexual experience to remember for the rest of your life, these are the suggestions for you!

Planning – all of our couples agreed that the most satisfying threesomes were actually planned. These weren’t drunken, spur of the moment decisions. The couples decided what type of threesome they wanted to have (be it Male-Female-Male, Female-Male-Female, or trios of the same sex), and who would be having sex with who. For instance, with two-men scenarios, some men like the idea of having another man have sex with their girlfriend, but don’t want to actively take part. Others want to engage in sexual activities with the second man, as well as with their female partner. Another issue to take into account is the use of alcohol or mind-altering substances. Do you want everyone to me in their ‘right’ minds, or do you not mind if the others are a bit tipsy?

Leave the Romance at the Door – Threesomes are about sex and sexual gratification. Major complications can happen if a member of the couple has strong romantic feelings for the person they are inviting into their bedroom (or the other way around). You don’t want to mix sex and love in threesome circumstances, as they can lead to longer term issues down the line. Some couples suggested having the third person be a friend that both members of the couple are familiar and friendly with. Other couples suggest finding a ‘stranger’ who you have both gotten to know in the context of having a threesome.

Discuss the Possible Aftermath – Sometimes its difficulty to avoid jealous feeling after a threesome. It’s important to discuss the possible outcomes of the act BEFORE it happens, so you can avoid major relationship disasters after the fact. What will happen if someone is feeling like they haven’t received enough attention during the threesome? What will do you do if either of you get ‘attached’ to the new person? If it’s a complete disaster – or an overwhelming success – would you try it again?

Location, Location, Location – Where will the threesome take place? Your dorm room may not be the best option – especially if it is as small as some of our staffers’ former rooms, and the walls are just as thin! If your threesome doesn’t quite go as planned, you want to avoid having it in places that you frequent with your steady lover – like the marital bed. Using a hotel room can avoid location-triggered memories. Wherever you are, make sure that you have enough condoms and other protective equipment so that you don’t need to do a drug-store run at the start of your activities.

Get the Ball Rolling – Overall, our couples suggested that the best way to get things started is by the established couple begin the activities – kissing, cuddling, petting – and then having the third join in. Go slowly. Use foreplay to your advantage. Don’t rush into things until everyone is ready to take it further.