Spic and Span Sex

I get lots of questions about sex and hygiene and boy, do they run the gamut. Usually from women who feel that they are never clean enough when it comes to their vaginas to men who are into “dirty” sex. There seems to be a lot of conjecture out there in regards to how clean we do or do not need to be.

spic and span sex

I find most women a little uptight about it. They want to sanitize and scrub their vaginas until it has a seal taped over it like a toilet seat in a hotel. Women tend to be hyper aware of how they smell or taste during oral sex. I can venture to say that most women have either chosen not to have sex at all or have stopped their partners from going down on them at least a few times in their lives because of a not so fresh feeling.

But the weird dichotomy is that I hear from most men how they love the smell and taste of their partners when things are a little ripe down there. It drives a lot of partners wild. Most of this can be attributed to pheromones.  Pheromones are a chemical substance that is produced by all mammals. They have one purpose: to serve as a stimulus to other individuals of the same species. They are considered our natural attraction system to perpetuate the human race. Your pheromones are picked up by your partner’s senses much less if your vagina is “too” clean.

My point is that women should let the anxiousness go about how clean their ya-ya is all of the time. Allow sex to happen naturally without running to the bathroom to scrub things out. There’s a certain amount of vaginal discharge that is good to have as we prepare to have sex. That natural lubrication can make sex more fulfilling and potentially drive your partner even more wild. So put down the sanitizers, soaps and perfumes and allow your body to attract your mate in the most natural way possible.


 is the resident sexologist at Adam & Eve and also runs a private practice and media consulting business. She has a Doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Her professional affiliations include AASECT, SSSS, and the American Board of Sexologists. She also has a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and completed a postgraduate degree in Marriage, Family and Addictions Recovery Therapy.

© Copyright Dr. Kathleen Van Kirk