The Rules of Face Time Love

I remember the old days of “cybersex”. Chatting away with dirty words on AOL was something that became a quick hit in the 90’s. While I’d agree that nothing is better than physically bumping uglies with a man that you’ve randomly met online (and have come to a sense of trust with, of course), it’s only fair that the idea of online lovemaking get with the times.

facetime love

Face Time sex can be better than porn when your partner is good at it, but there’s always going to be those who make it kind of a drag or simply don’t follow the unwritten rules that should come along with it. So as a service to the online community of iPhone owners around the world, I’ve written what I like to think are the official rules of Face Time Love.

Clothes on to Start
If you’ve taken the time to get someone far enough that they agree to some Face Time love, you can take the time to take your clothes off after you’ve gotten acquainted with on your iPhones. Keep it in your pants, or at least start with a face shot. The last thing people want to find out is that you’ve been a lying prick and don’t actually look like you do in your pictures.

Guys Go First
Listen horn balls, you might be dying to see our goods, but the fact is that you’re going to start everything. At any time I can end the conversation with you, and if you don’t have what it takes to impress me than this “call” is over. The lady should never EVER have to remove something before the guy does, and if you don’t like that, then you can just go right back to your “Singles” chat room.

Ask First
Nothing is more polite when it comes to Face Time love than asking if I want to see it before you start showing off. I might be horny too, but there are women out there who have a little bit of an issue of you just whipping it out without our consent, and that “End Call” button is quite close to our thumb. Did you ever think that we agreed to a Face Time call because we wanted to know if those were really your pictures? A simple “Do you wanna see it?” will get you everything that you were hoping to get out of this chat session…eventually.

Don’t Hang Up Right Away
I’ve noticed that a lot of guys tend to get off and end the Face Time session, regardless of how the woman is doing. This is a pretty douche move if you ask me, and I’ll be happy to call you out in the same place that I met you. Take a minute…make sure the lady is done before you bounce off the session. Believe it or not, there’s going to be a time when you want to do this again, and I won’t be so nice the next time when you can’t find anyone else.

We’re going to see a lot more Face Time action in the online world, and whether the man is a friend or someone you’ve met online, if he doesn’t play by the rules, then he doesn’t deserve to see you goods. Play fair, but be strict.