Three Wedding Night Mistakes
Ah, the wedding night — so romantic and sexy. But often our wedding nights end up being less stellar than what we had hoped for. After the pressure of staging the “perfect” wedding, many of us expect the “perfect” wedding night. Most of us have fantasies of how the night will unfold (whether you are a virgin or not).
So, whether you are thinking of rose petals on the bed or a long evening of energetic sex, there’s usually a specific expectation. And everyone knows that when we have expectations that we tend to be disappointed with results. That is not the foot you wanted to get started on in your new union. Here are three top mistakes I hear from most newly wedding couples. They sound practical but they can help you have a stress free night of good sex.
Eating too little throughout the day or at the ceremony
Couples allow themselves to get hounded with a multitude of well wishes so much so that they have no time to nourish themselves. I’ve talked to several couples who had to interrupt the wedding night to stop at a fast food joint for some burgers and fries and then resent it when it rolls around time to get sexy with one another. Feeling bloated is no fun and more people than not will skip the sex or get in or out as fast as they can because they are just so uncomfortable. Make sure you schedule in time for you to be seated and actually eat. It should be apart of wedding planning schedule. Also, carrying small snacks via your maid of honor or best man can keep you grounded and fed. You can nourish yourself and your sex life by doing this.
Drinking too much
Yes, the libations are being passed around fast and furious at most receptions. Everyone tends to shove a drink in the hand of the bride and groom the whole night. What this does, especially on an empty stomach, can be wholly unpleasant. I know of many couples where either the bride our groom barfed by the end of the evening. Thusly leaving sex on the back burner or having barely conscious sex. Definitely not the fantasy you’d think of – plus the hangover the next morning can inhibit your ability to join in any post-wedding events. Just watch your consumption and make sure you have a pitcher of water on your dining table at all times.
Lack of Communication Between Bride and Groom
The bride and groom don’t get to talk to one another the whole night and/or have never discussed their wedding night at all.This can sometimes establish a pattern that can go on for years. Very often couples discuss every other aspect of the wedding except for the all-important wedding night. So please take time to talk about your expectations with one another. How you would like to see the evening flow. It could actually turn into a nice bit of anticipatory dirty talk while you are at it. And don’t forget to make contact with one another through out the reception. Brides and grooms often get torn apart because they are just trying to appease everyone by chatting with whomever walks up. Set times during the evening that the two of you can rendezvous together, even if it’s just for a hug or a few choice words about Uncle Milt’s wandering hands. You’ll feel more connected and ready to engage in that night of whatever bliss you make it.
image is a copyrighted photo of the models
Dr. Kat is the resident sexologist at Adam & Eve and also runs a private practice and media consulting business. She has a Doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Her professional affiliations include AASECT, SSSS, and the American Board of Sexologists. She also has a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and completed a postgraduate degree in Marriage, Family and Addictions Recovery Therapy.
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