When Is Sleeping Around a Bad Idea

I tend to be a proponent of casual sex. I think people should generally experience one another sexually sooner rather than later to see if they are sexually compatible. I also think that sex can be used for personal growth. Exposing ourselves to new situations and people, learning the dynamics of relationships and how to communicate properly even with short term partners can all be a good thing. But there are times when sleeping around isn’t the best idea and sometimes it truly is best to stay in with a good book or stick with your friends when you are out at a club.

It’ll Prove I’m Hot

Screwing someone to feel better about yourself should definitely be on your no-no list. It can wreak havoc with your judgment and make you have sex with someone who would normally be less than desirable to you. It can end up making you feel even worse about yourself. I’ve been privy to women who unless they get hit on every time they go out they feel ugly and unwanted. Going out on the town should be about the experience and meeting new people. Not some warped experience in proving your own validation. And yes, this can lead to even lower self-esteem than you had before because even if you bag someone for the night, many of us feel guilty about it the next day.When is sleeping around a bad ideaAlcohol Makes Me Feel Sexier

A drink or two is no big deal. It can be a great way to unwind and loosen our inhibitions ever so much. But getting majorly sloshed or drugged on something worse is the worst idea when it comes to sleeping around. Being under the influence opens you up to making some big time mistakes. From choosing the wrong person to go home with to doing things you normally wouldn’t and then feeling guilty about it. You want to be sure you have your wits about you so that if you do sleep with someone, you can really enjoy it. Plus, being drunk can inhibit arousal and/or orgasm for you both. That doesn’t sound like a great start to any sexual relationship.

It’ll Make Me Seem Like a Slut

Leaving the house without protection; whether you are male or female is the kiss of death (and can be literally). I don’t care how good you think it feels in the moment — potential disease is not sexy – ever. At the very least, worrying about it can be a real downer. Women in particular are bad about this. They either think it’s the guy’s responsibility or they will look like a whore if they have condoms on them. I say get over it and be proactive. And trust me, your birth control pills are not enough.

The better judgment you practice, the better you will feel about yourself no matter what happens. By all means, have a good time and mount that bartender you’ve had your eye on all night. Just do it wisely.

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 is the resident sexologist at Adam & Eve and also runs a private practice and media consulting business. She has a Doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Her professional affiliations include AASECT, SSSS, and the American Board of Sexologists. She also has a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and completed a postgraduate degree in Marriage, Family and Addictions Recovery Therapy.

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