Where to Begin with Strap On for Him

The taboo pleasures of prostate stimulation are something I believe every man should try at least once. Male anal play goes back to Greek and Roman cultures and even earlier according to primitive artifacts. This can be a whole new aspect to sex that is just waiting to be explored. The prostate orgasm associated can be quite intense.

There are a few things you might want to consider before you take the plunge. Some men and women confuse anal play with being gay. The fact that his body may respond to a physical sensation has nothing to do with his sexual identity. There are nerve endings there. It feels good — end of story.

Lubricant

Lube is your friend…use it! The anus doesn’t have as much natural lubrication so invest in some good lube. There are now specific brands that are a little thicker available for anal play. Novices should especially be using lube to avoid anal tears and bleeding. I believe that some people who have tried anal sex have ended up hating it just because they just didn’t have enough lubrication. It can profoundly change the experience.

Take the process slow. Anal penetration (whether on a male or a female) is not something you dive right into and especially not with a 10-inch strap-on dildo. Start with some external stimulation and work gradually in with your fingers – watch for long nails though (ouch). If your partner feels uncomfortable about using his or her fingers or there’s concern about safety or cleanliness, they could always use a pair of latex gloves or a sex toy for insertion.

prostate stimulation

Getting Started

I would suggest starting with fingers, moving to smaller anal dildos, plugs, or vibes and then eventually working up to a strap-on. Strap-ons can be a little tricky in the fact that there’s no sensation of depth for the person who is using it on the other. Which means that a female partner won’t be able to tell through a piece of rubber or silicon how far she’s going in, how tight the anus is, how much friction she’s creating by pumping in and out, or if the lube might be drying out. Therefore, you’ve got to be very clear to communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t.

The person who is getting penetrated should actually be the one in control. If your girlfriend or wife is looking for a little sensation for herself, there are strap-ons that have clitoral stimulators on the inside of the mounting piece that rubs her clitoris as she’s penetrating you.
In fact, it might be helpful for you to first try stimulating yourself before you hand over that honor to someone else. That way you’ll know what you like ahead of time and can really control the experience.


 is the resident sexologist at Adam & Eve and also runs a private practice and media consulting business. She has a Doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Her professional affiliations include AASECT, SSSS, and the American Board of Sexologists. She also has a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and completed a postgraduate degree in Marriage, Family and Addictions Recovery Therapy.

© Copyright Dr. Kathleen Van Kirk