Why Porn Isn’t the Problem

Is porn a problem? This is a very often-asked question in my office. And it can be quite the loaded question because many assume that all porn is bad, therefore all porn is a problem, right? But not so, plenty of studies have found that porn consumption can be a healthy part of someone’s sex life. Yes, there tend to be more men than women who seek it out on a regular basis but we know that there are plenty of women partaking out there too. The stereotypical situation that I get approached with is that of a woman who shows up complaining that her husband watches too much porn.

Now there can be instances where porn is a problem. Just like overeating and shopping too much can be an issue. People can get into compulsive behaviors that disrupt their lives but therein lays the key…the behavior has to disrupt one’s life. So when a very upset wife or couple come in I ask them if he’s missing work or important family gatherings, are there financial problems as a result, is there loss of intimacy between the couple, meaning is he replacing sex with his wife with masturbation and porn? These are issues that can be dealt with during the course of therapy. They do not necessarily mean that there is a porn addiction afoot.Why Porn Isn’t the ProblemMany women in these situations don’t understand that there can be good things about porn use, that indeed porn can actually be educational. It might be a matter of the husband inviting his wife into some of his porn adventures as a way of learning about both of their sexual interests, new positions to try, new ways to communicate, and maybe, just maybe she’ll get aroused too.


 is the resident sexologist at Adam & Eve and also runs a private practice and media consulting business. She has a Doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Her professional affiliations include AASECT, SSSS, and the American Board of Sexologists. She also has a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and completed a postgraduate degree in Marriage, Family and Addictions Recovery Therapy.

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