Breaking Into Bondage – Newbie Tips

With the Fifty Shades phenomenon moving across the country, BDSM (or bondage, dominance, and sadomasochism) is becoming more a topic for the break room and less taboo. More than a few of the ladies and gentlemen on the Adam and Eve team have started toying with the idea of bringing a dominance and submission aspect into their love life. But with that added level of danger and responsibility, there are ways that a bondage beginner can go down the wrong path. We gathered up a collection of couples who actively take part in the BDSM lifestyle, and got their tips for us ‘vanilla’ folks who are just looking for a kinky time.breaking into bondage

1.       Always remember there is a balance. The ‘top’ or dominant partner may seem like they are the ones in control, since they are the one leading the scene and not restrained. The ‘bottom’ or submissive partner may seem like they are at the mercy of their lover. A healthy relationship will share that control – the top will be led by the bottom, responding to their reaction, their pleasure, and their requests to stop. This is also where safewords come in – establish a word or phrase to use that will let the top know you’ve had enough. A lot of couples like to use the colors ‘yellow’ and ‘red’ (like a traffic light), since the words ‘no’ and ‘stop’ may be used as part of that power exchange, and not a true request to discontinue the action.

 

2.       Start simple. If you’re just getting into the scene, and aren’t sure if this is the kind of lifestyle that you want to lead 24/7, don’t go out and spend hundreds on all sorts of equipment.  A lot of items around the house can easily be converted into bondage gear. Neckties can be used to tie up lovers into various positions. Rulers and wooden spoons make great paddles. So much of bondage and dominance is about mental control as well, where no toys or equipment are needed at all. When you do decide what you like, multi piece kits like the Ultimate Fantasy Kit are great ways to start your collection, then adding singular pieces like riding crops, spreader bars, and fur paddles as and when you see fit.

 

3.       Begin with basic bondage and dominance. Your first session should be slow, and using ‘baby steps’. Tie your lover up during sex – restrict their hands and arms. Some beginners use material that is easily broken (paper streamers is a great tool for this), so if the session takes a turn they aren’t comfortable with, they can easily break out of their bonds. If you’re going to use handcuffs, make sure that they have a non-key release. There are fur-lined cuffs for new users that are good, as they can’t close all the way and restrict blood flow to the hands.  Use blindfolds to create mild sensory deprivation.

 

4.       Plan ahead. Never session for the first time with someone you don’t trust completely. Establish your safewords before any action takes place. Establish your boundaries of what you are and are not willing to try. Be familiar with your surroundings in the event that something happens. Always practice safe sex.

 

5.       Be aware of subdrop. A lot of submissives reach a ‘high’ when taking part in a BDSM session. Coming down from that high can be an intense and very emotional experience. It’s very important that the dominant knows how to deal with subdrop appropriately and be there to support their lover during the hours following the session.